An energy protection technique designed to promote resilience, liberation, and emotional wellbeing
Holding on to a hurt or grudge can become an exhausting energy drain. But, for many of us, it’s tough to give up the fight – especially when we feel like justice hasn’t been served and the score is still uneven.
Or, sometimes, the person we need to forgive is ourselves. When we believe we haven’t lived up to our values and priorities, we might carry around a heavy burden of shame or guilt.
Whether we’re lightening our load by forgiving ourselves or someone else, the practice of forgiveness can be a powerful way to reclaim our energy and brain space. Try this technique the next time you want to practice forgiveness but you’re having a tough time letting go.
Fill in the blanks and then speak the statement aloud.
I expected you to _____________________________,
But you ______________________________________ instead.
I hereby acknowledge that you wronged me.
And now I’m moving ahead.
In the first part, you’re honoring yourself and your feelings by identifying exactly how someone failed you. Finding the words that represent our truth in these types of situations can cause a powerful release.
But it’s the second part of the statement that helps us reclaim our energy and our power. With the phrase “I hereby acknowledge,” the statement reminds you that you have the authority to determine how this situation ends.
The very end of the statement – “And now I’m moving ahead” – demonstrates your decision to move forward instead of staying weighed down by the energy drain of resentment and anger or the desire to even the score.
Here’s an example of a statement written by Becca, a project manager, after finding out her colleague was offended by Becca’s feedback on a project deliverable and reported Becca to her supervisor for being rude:
I expected you to talk with me first so we could clear the air,
But you caused chaos and conflict and smeared my reputation instead.
I hereby acknowledge that you wronged me.
And now I’m moving ahead.
Here’s another example from Allen, a senior executive who was disciplined by the CEO for failing to achieve his department’s goals despite several cutbacks on the resources required to meet the goals.
I expected you to approve more resources or agree with my proposal to adjust my department’s targets,
But you set me and my employees up for failure instead.
I hereby acknowledge that you wronged me.
And now I’m moving ahead.
If it doesn’t work the first time, don’t give up. It’s normal to use this technique multiple times for the same situation as we discover complexities and nuances of how we’re processing the painful emotions. There’s often more to it than we realize, but this technique helps us find the healing necessary for protecting our energy so we can live with more purpose and joy.
Names have been changed to protect privacy
Photo by Jill Wellington
About the Author
A former communication executive and global leadership advisor, Jessica Walter has been helping leaders solve culture, engagement, and communication challenges since 2002.
She spent 15 years on the executive teams of government, non-profit, and publicly traded businesses before transitioning into research and advisory roles, including senior positions at a global consulting firm.
Her research includes leading multiple studies on communication, relationships, and leadership effectiveness that included input from more than 200,000 employees across multiple industries, job types, and geographic regions. She recently published the insights from her research in her book, Shifting the Energy: How Love Leads Remarkable Teams.
In 2023, she was a featured speaker at the annual conference of the Society of Industrial and Organization Psychology where she gave a presentation on burnout and the joint responsibility of leaders and employees to reduce burnout in the workplace. Her advice has also been featured on CNN Radio and in HR Director magazine, Training Magazine, Training Journal, Exeleon Magazine, Mindful Marketing, Becker’s Hospital Review, and PRSA’s Strategies & Tactics.
Jessica studied Executive Influence at Wharton, earned a master’s degree in Leadership & Business Ethics from Duquesne, and earned a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication from Towson. She holds the Accreditation in Public Relations (APR) and certifications as a Leadership Coach, Lean Systems Leader, and Hogan Assessments Advisor.
She lives near Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, and is the mom to a former U.S. Army Paratrooper from the 82nd Airborne Division.
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