One of the easiest ways to prevent unnecessary emotional and cognitive energy drain is to have a clear understanding of the values and priorities that are most important to you.
Your personal values are the principles that guide your choices and behavior throughout all domains of your life. They’re the attributes you seek to embody and the priorities you care about most. Examples include making a difference, learning, service to others, freedom, humor, and courage.
Once you’ve identified the values that drive you, they can become a touchstone for prioritizing your time, narrowing down your options when you have tough choices to make, and keeping you in tune with what brings you purpose and joy.
Step 1: Answer 10 Reflection Questions
To determine your personal values and priorities, consider the questions below. Try not to overthink your answers. Just trust your intuition and jot down the first thing that comes to mind. We’ll fine-tune everything as the process unfolds.
1. How do you prefer to spend your unscheduled time?
Answer:
Examples are movies, TV, family, pets, shopping, sports
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
Examples are rest, physical activity, creativity
2. What are quotes you’re drawn to? (These could be on mugs, signs, stickers, t-shirts, notebooks, etc.)
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
3. As you look at your home or the spaces you’ve created for yourself, what do they tell you about your priorities and preferences? (Pay special attention to the spaces that are yours alone or where others’ opinions don’t matter.)
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
4. When you’ve faced difficult choices recently, what did you select and why?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
5. When you’ve faced difficult choices recently, what did you decide NOT to select and why?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
6. What are the qualities you admire most in yourself?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
7. What do you absolutely love about life as a human being?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
8. What were you doing in the moments that gave you the deepest sense of purpose?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
9. What were you doing in the moments that filled you with the most joy?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
10. Do you look for life guidance in books, videos, social media, or podcasts? If so, what topics are you drawn to?
Answer:
Attributes/Characteristics/Key Words Represented by Your Answer:
Step 2: Use an AI Assistant to Reveal Your Results
Enter the prompt below into your preferred AI (ex: ChatGPT, Claude, Copilot) to reveal the 3 words that represent your personal values and priorities.
Prompt for AI Assistant
I completed this exercise to begin revealing my 3 personal values – the ideals I hold most sacred. Based on my answers, what would you say are the 3 words that best summarize my personal values? My answers: <Copy questions and answers from above. Be sure to delete the examples provided for #1.>
Step 3: Gut Check the Results
What’s your first reaction to the results produced by AI?
- Do they feel like a version of you that you’d like to leave behind? If so, see if you can find the words that represent the person you’re becoming.
- Do they feel accurate but a little off? Keep adjusting until the words feel right.
- Are they spot-on? Great! Let’s keep them and use them for the next step.
Step 4: Use the Values Compass to Activate Your Values & Priorities
The Values CompassSM is the perfect complement to values identification work because it helps us move from knowing our values to living our values by understanding what pulls us off course.
Drawing on 25 years of field-tested research, the Values Compass combines powerful techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), behavioral psychology, strategic planning, and change management to create a simple yet profound navigation system.
Here’s How It Works
Answer the 4 questions below to illuminate how to steer toward your values and away from the thoughts and behaviors that create unnecessary struggle.
Toward Moves
1. What specific, observable behaviors show you’re moving toward each of your values?
Answer:
Examples are investing time to build genuine connections, preserving my energy for the right things, being honest about my capacity, and actively listening in conversations
Away Moves
2. What specific, observable behaviors move you away your values?
Answer:
Examples are overcommitting, procrastinating, taking on projects that don’t make a difference, and avoiding difficult conversations
3. What thoughts, fears, or beliefs pull you toward these Away Moves?
Answer:
Examples are I’m afraid of disappointing others, I need to do it perfectly or not at all, and there’s too much to do to slow down or take breaks
Your Next Move
4. Given the answers above, what move would you like to make?
It can be big or small, sooner or later. Trust yourself and go at the pace that feels right to you. Try not to fall into the trap of listing what you think you should do – that’s exactly the type of behavior we’re trying to liberate you from.
Consider upcoming “choice points” or common situations where you face decisions that might put you at odds with your values and priorities. See if you can make one change that allows you to move toward your values when that choice point arrives.
| My Next Move | 1st Step | Date to Complete 1st Step |
Final Thoughts
Revisit and refine – Create a way to remind yourself to come back to your values to help you make decisions and also to recalibrate when you feel out of alignment.
Be gentle with yourself – It’s okay if you don’t get it “right” every time. In fact, it’s normal. Think of your personal values as a direction to aim for as often as you can.
Coach’s Note: The beauty of doing the work to define our values is that we acknowledge that we’ll always have difficult experiences that pull us off course. The goal isn’t to eliminate those, but to use our values as a compass to show us the path that allows us to protect what matters most to us.
This content is a companion to Shifting the Energy, the playbook for leading high‑performing teams in the post‑pandemic era.
About the Author
Jessica Walter is a strategy consultant and trusted advisor to senior executives looking to create energized, high-performing teams. With 20+ years in executive industry leadership and consulting, she specializes in uncovering the root causes of culture, engagement, change management, and communication challenges and crafting actionable strategies to drive sustainable turnarounds.
Author of Shifting the Energy: How Love Leads Remarkable Teams, Jessica has guided more than 40 organizations through complex culture shifts and shared insights from research involving over 200,000 employees. Her work has been featured at leadership and psychology conferences and in publications like HR Director and Training Magazine.
Jessica holds a master’s in Leadership and Business Ethics from Duquesne, studied Executive Influence at Wharton, earned a bachelor’s in Mass Communication from Towson, and maintains multiple certifications in coaching and organizational assessments. Based near Gettysburg, PA, she is the proud mom of a former U.S. Army Paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division.
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